


Off the rails

by shnixangel



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Boys Kissing, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Heartache, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 21:45:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14962760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shnixangel/pseuds/shnixangel
Summary: Nick's left heartbroken when his girlfriend of 7 years leaves him and goes off the rails - it's up to the others to help mend his broken heart.***“Kev?” Nick stage whispered from Kevin’s door that he’d pushed open a little.There was no reply.  Poking his head around the door, he could see that Kevin was fast asleep.  Nick crept in, closing the door behind him and snuck over to the empty side of the bed.  He pulled the covers back and climbed in.“You ok?” Kevin’s muffled slow drawl pierced the quietness of the room.“Yeah.  Couldn’t sleep.” Nick replied.Kevin turned over and he wrapped his arm over Nick’s waist, pulling him closer and spooning him.  “Go to sleep babe.” He mumbled.Nick relished the weight of Kevin’s arm over his waist, the soft breath on his neck and he felt himself relaxing.“Night Kev.” He murmured.“Night Carts.” Came the very sleepy reply.





	Off the rails

“What’s he done this time?” Kevin asked when he answered the phone to Nick’s manager, Lori.   
“Kevin! I could just be calling to catch up!” She laughed.   
“Sorry! Hi, how are you?” He chuckled.   
“Nick got arrested last night.” She told him, all traces of laughter gone. 

“Fuck.” Kevin groaned, sitting down heavily on his sofa. “What for?” He asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer.   
“Being drunk and yelling abuse at a club bouncer.”  
“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Kevin muttered. “Does somebody need to bail him out?” He asked, rolling his shoulders, trying to shake the tension that was already settling there.   
“Yeah. We decided to let him sweat it off last night. We’ve just had a call to say he’s finally awake and they want to bail him.”

Kevin sighed as he stood up. “I’m on my way. Does anyone else know yet?” He wanted to know.   
“Yep. Record label has asked for a meeting at 2pm.” She explained.   
“Just Nick or all of us?” Kevin asked, striding through to the kitchen and grabbing his car keys.   
“Just Nick.”  
“And you know we’ll all be there, right?” He told her.   
“Kevin, I wouldn’t expect anything less.” She said, a smile in her voice. 

***

Nick’s entire body hurt as he stood up from the chair in the small room he’d been in all night. He looked up, seeing Kevin in the doorframe giving him a completely unreadable look. 

“How you doing buddy?” Kevin asked softly.   
“How do I look like I’m fucking doing, Kev?” He snapped back angrily. 

Kevin raised his eyebrows and nodded a little. “Ready to go?” He asked as Nick stepped around the table. 

Nick nodded miserably. “Guess so.” He agreed. 

As Nick got to the door, Kevin stretched his arm out and pulled Nick to him. “You ok?” He asked again as Nick slumped against him a little. 

Nick nodded, tears in the corners of his red and bloodshot eyes. “Just get me out of here?” He mumbled weakly. 

*** 

Kevin, AJ, Brian and Howie all looked at each other worriedly over the conference room table. Nick was sat at one end, although sat was probably too formal a word - he was slumped forward, arms and elbows resting on the table, his head on his hands. 

“You guys didn’t all need to come.” He mumbled from under his arms.   
“Dude, this isn’t gonna be a pleasant meeting. We’re here for moral support.” AJ told him gently, putting his hand on the back of Nick’s neck and Nick sighed, leaning into the touch. 

A door opened and then Nick’s management team and the record label’s team came in. 

Nick glanced up, worriedly and then put his head back down. His hangover was still too raw for him to be able to function properly. 

He was fairly sure he’d dozed off because the next thing he knew, they were discussing where he should live. 

“Woah. I have a house, guys.” He said, sitting up and wincing at both the pain in his head and the sunlight that was streaming through the windows. 

“Told you he was asleep!” AJ smirked a little. “Dude, you’ve gotta get some rest, we know you’re heartbroken over Cate, but you can’t keep going to these extremes, you’ve worked too hard to go back 10 years.” AJ explained gently. 

“Says the guy who was out the night after his daughter was born getting girls’ numbers - yeah, because you’re so fucking mature!” Nick snapped. 

AJ blew out a breath as he stared at Nick. “Ok, well that’s me out.” He said, angrily pushing his chair back and standing up. 

“Aje…” Nick began, realising what he’d said was terribly unfair but AJ shook his head at Nick.   
“Don’t Aje me, Carter. Just get some help. I will do everything I can to help you, you know that, but I’m not sure I want you around my kids right now.” He said tersely. 

Nick nodded, letting his head drop back down onto his hands as AJ sat down again. 

Kevin and Howie exchanged a look over Nick’s head. 

“I don’t think…” Brian began, clearing his throat. “When I got married, it sent Nick a bit over the edge, you know how you were.” He shrugged apologetically at Nick who’d raised his head to glare at Brian. “Do you really want to be around me and Leigh when you already give me stick for how sickening we can be?” He asked gently. 

Nick shook his head. “Know what I don’t like? That my life is being managed for me again and I can’t even be allowed to stay at home on my own.”

“Nick, it’s not that we don’t trust you, it’s just you’re making bad choices at the moment.” Howie said, his heart clenching in sympathy for the wreck in front of him. 

“Guess Leigh’s not gonna want the stress of Nick, being pregnant and all?” Kevin asked Howie and Howie shook his head slowly.   
“I’m sorry dude, you know she loves you, but I can’t put her under the stress of worrying about you too.” 

“I don’t need anyone to worry about me, I’m fucking fine.” Nick grumbled. 

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s why we are all here, right now.” He said. “You can come home with me.”  
“Short straw again Kev?” Nick asked. “Just cos you’re single now, you get lumbered with me.”

“I wanna help Nick. And maybe having the boys over will keep your mind occupied too, you know how much they love you.” Kevin explained. 

“Yeah, because I’m the fucking moron who lets them do stupid stuff that you and Kris hate. She’s not gonna want them around me.”

“Let me deal with that. Ok, agreed, Nick comes to stay with me for a bit? We’ve got band stuff in a week or so anyway and then we’ll be on the road for a couple of weeks so we’ll see how it goes?” He asked the room and everyone nodded. 

*** 

Nick groaned as he woke up several hours later. He barely remembered getting back to Kevin’s and he’d obviously passed out on the sofa in the TV room. 

“Welcome back to the land of the living!” Kevin said and Nick looked over at the other end of the sofa.   
“Hey.” He said, his mouth tasting awful. He dragged himself into a sitting position. “Got any water?” He asked and smiled gratefully as Kevin passed him a cold bottle. “Thanks.” He said, opening the bottle and drinking most of it down in one go. 

“Feeling any better?” Kevin asked, muting the TV.   
“Head isn’t pounding like it was.” Nick said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.   
“That’s gotta be good!” Kevin chuckled.  
“I dunno - now I’ve got to live with you until I can behave better apparently!” Nick grinned a little.   
“Yeah, I’m not sure whose really being punished here!” Kevin laughed. “Want some dinner?” He asked, pushing himself off the sofa.  
“What’ve you got?” Nick asked.  
“I ordered in earlier so there’s leftover Indian stuff.” Kevin replied.

Nick nodded eagerly. “Actually, I’m starving.” He said, following Kevin out of the lounge.  
“I’m not surprised, I bet you didn’t eat much yesterday before you went out drinking, did you?” Kevin asked.  
“I don’t remember.” Nick replied. “Was with Adam, it was his suggestion to go to that bar. I guess it made the press?” 

Kevin nodded. “Yep. But everyone seems to be fairly sympathetic, you know, getting over …” Kevin trailed off, not wanting to even mention Cate’s name.

Nick nodded, staring at an empty plate as Kevin unboxed the food from earlier. He kept silent as he piled his plate with food, grabbed a fork and headed back to the TV room.

Kevin watched as Nick’s shoulders slumped down when he walked out of the kitchen. He knew all about heartbreak. He and Kristin had separated a year ago, and although it was amicable, they just didn’t have the same love and affection they had for one another 20 odd years ago, it still broke his heart that they’d called time on it. He knew they were lucky, they still got on very well and she’d moved into a house on the same street so the boys could come and go to each other’s home as they wanted and needed to. 

But Nick hadn’t seen the break up with Cate coming, at all. It had kind of hit them all by surprise, she’d been a part of Nick’s life for 7 years and then all of a sudden, she’d met someone else and she told Nick it was over. They’d been living together for 4 years and had talked about getting married and even having children, but Nick had wanted to make sure that he didn’t repeat the same mistakes his parents had made and Cate had told him she’d got tired of waiting around for him to decide when he was going to be ready.

Kevin cringed when he remembered Nick calling him from a jewellers in Vegas a few nights later, in tears, telling Kevin he was trying to pick out an engagement ring but he couldn’t focus and could Kev go and help him pick one.

All Kevin had done when he’d got there was steer a tired and emotional Nick out of the jewellers, thankful for the fact that the staff hadn’t taken advantage and sold him the most expensive ring in the shop. He’d taken Nick back to his house and stayed with him until he’d fallen asleep.

The break up had been 8 weeks ago and whilst none of them expected Nick to just get over Cate with a snap of his fingers, they all knew him well enough to know that if they left him to his own devices, all the hard work he’d done several years ago getting clean, and primarily sober, would go to waste.

Kevin hadn’t quite expected him to start drinking as heavily as he had been doing, and he knew that was the first thing he needed to try and tackle. So, when they’d got back from the record label earlier, and once Nick was asleep on the sofa, he’d unstocked the bar and locked it all away in a spare room bathroom. He knew Nick would question him about it and to be honest, he wasn’t looking forward to the row that was inevitable, but he’d rather row with Nick than watch him drink himself stupid again.

*** 

“Fancy a trip to the zoo?” Kevin asked the following morning when Nick surfaced.

Nick blinked and frowned at Kevin. “The zoo? Why?” He asked.  
Kevin shrugged. “Thought we could get out for the day, rather than sit around.”  
“You mean it’s easier to babysit me when we’re out than when I’m sat around nursing a broken heart, being fucking miserable?” Nick asked with a small smile as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

“Well, when you put it like that…!” Kevin grinned. “What do you reckon? I’ve got the boys today and I thought we’d all enjoy it.”

“Oh, no, I don’t wanna crash your time with the boys. You go, I’ll be fine here.” Nick said.  
“Dude, you either come with us or they come here and spend time with us, probably playing computer games all day.” 

Nick grinned. “I’m good with that!”  
“I’m sure you are but I don’t want the boys on those things all day! Come on, come with us?” Kevin asked, nudging Nick’s shoulder.

Nick took another sip of coffee. “Are you really giving me a choice here?” He asked suspiciously.

Kevin beamed at him. “Nope! Come on, Kris is expecting us to pick up the boys in 20 minutes. I almost had to come and wake you, you slept so long!”

*** 

Nick smiled as he watched Kevin crouch down, reading off a plaque outside the elephant enclosure to Maxwell. Maxwell asked a question every few words and Kevin patiently explained it all.

“You’re so good with them.” Nick commented as the followed the boys into the seating area where they could watch the elephants being fed.  
Kevin grinned. “Thanks dude.”  
“Reckon we look like a modern family?” Nick laughed as he looked around, seeing families of all kinds around them, but they were the only two guys with children.  
Kevin laughed. “Probably, although I know we’ve been spotted, there are a couple of women who have magically appeared at every place we’ve been to!” He grinned, nodding down in front of them, with 3 small children.  
“Well, they’ll know we are both single now, so that’ll start the rumour mill off!” Nick grinned.

*** 

“Oh, my god, I knew your two were talkative, but I’m whacked!” Nick yawned as they dropped Mason and Maxwell off with Kristin late afternoon. “I didn’t know 4 year olds could talk so much!” He said, dropping down on the sofa. 

“Yeah, he’s certainly a chatterbox! Mason’s got quieter as he’s got older.”  
“Probably can’t get a word in edgeways!” Nick laughed. 

*** 

Nick tossed and turned in his bed. He’d gone up an hour before and had heard Kevin lock the house up and go into his room. It was the first night in a while that Nick actually remembered going to bed - he was either so tired and hungover that he’d pass out on his sofa or he was blind drunk that he’d pass out when he got into bed.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Cate. The day at the zoo had really helped take his mind off things for a little while, but now he was alone and it was quiet, his mind wouldn’t switch off.

Eventually, he climbed out of bed.

“Kev?” Nick stage whispered from Kevin’s door that he’d pushed open a little.  
There was no reply. Poking his head around the door, he could see that Kevin was fast asleep. Nick crept in, closing the door behind him and snuck over to the empty side of the bed. He pulled the covers back and climbed in.

“You ok?” Kevin’s muffled slow drawl pierced the quietness of the room.  
“Yeah. Couldn’t sleep.” Nick replied.

Kevin turned over and he wrapped his arm over Nick’s waist, pulling him closer and spooning him. “Go to sleep babe.” He mumbled.

Nick relished the weight of Kevin’s arm over his waist, the soft breath on his neck and he felt himself relaxing.

“Night Kev.” He murmured.  
“Night Carts.” Came the very sleepy reply.

*** 

Kevin smiled to himself as he gently extricated himself out of Nick’s hold. It was 9.30am and it was the latest he’d slept in a while. He looked down at Nick who looked the most peaceful and stress free he’d seen in a few weeks.

“Morning.” Nick yawned as he stretched out an hour later. “What time is it?” He asked, realising that the sun seemed reasonably high in the sky.  
Kevin looked over at him from where he’d been lying and reading on his phone for the last hour. “Half ten. You sleep ok?” He asked, locking his phone and dropping it down onto the bed.

Nick yawned again. “Yeah. Christ, I haven’t slept that long uninterrupted for weeks.” He said, rubbing his eyes. “You spoon well. I can’t remember ever being the little spoon before” He commented and Kevin laughed. 

*** 

“What is all the commotion about?” Kevin laughed as he knocked on Nick’s door later that afternoon. Max had come over and he and Nick had been upstairs for an hour and all Kevin had heard was a lot of laughter coming from Nick’s room.

“Hey! You have to knock Daddy!” Max called out.  
“Sorry, do excuse me! Knock, knock!” Kevin chuckled as Maxwell opened the door. “What on earth?!” He laughed as he saw the floor covered in sheets and blankets.

“We built a fort!” Max announced excitedly.  
“I can see that! Is it for you or for Nick?!” He grinned at Nick who was sat cross legged on the bed.  
“Well, it was my suggestion, but somebody has decided he wants a sleepover tonight and to stay in my fort!”  
“It’s my fort!” Max cried at Nick.  
“Sorry, your fort Max!” Nick grinned, rolling his eyes.  
“Well, you’d better ring your mum before you go making anymore plans!” Kevin said, unlocking his phone, dialling Kristin’s number and handing Max the phone.

“How you doing?” Kevin asked, sitting down by Nick, and putting his hand on Nick’s knee.  
“Better. Slept all night I think last night for the first time since she left.”  
“Feel better for it?”  
“If you mean, do I feel that I don’t need to drink myself into a stupor? No, still wanna do that but know you’re not gonna let me.”

Kevin beamed at Nick. “Got that right!”  
“If you think I haven’t noticed that the alcohol has disappeared from the house, you’re wrong – I’m just choosing to ignore the fact you had to hide it.” Nick said sagely as he dropped his head onto Kevin’s shoulder.  
“Just looking out for you babe.” Kevin replied, stroking Nick’s hair gently as Max put his thumbs up in Kevin’s direction, a wide grin over his face as his mum told him he could stay.

*** 

Nick fell into a light sleep when he finally went to bed later that night. Max had indeed gone to sleep in the blanket fort on his bedroom floor so he was mindful not to make any noise by tossing and turning.

But when he woke at 3am, he knew that he wasn’t going to get back to sleep. At least on his own. So grabbing his phone so that he didn’t leave it for Max to find the next morning, he crept into Kev’s room.

“Thought Max’s snoring would have got you in here much sooner.” Kevin mumbled sleepily as he felt the bed dip when Nick got in.  
“Not as bad as yours.” Nick laughed quietly. “Night.” He said, turning onto his side so that Kevin could spoon behind him.  
“Night babe.” Kevin replied.

*** 

Nick woke up alone the next morning and grabbed his phone to check the time. It was gone 10am and he sat up with a start as he saw a notification from Instagram. Cate had posted a new photo.

Nick sat upright, his fingers hovering over the keys to unlock his phone. He’d meant to turn off notifications from Cate, but he also knew himself well enough to know that he’d never have actually gone through with it.

“Kev…” He called out, his voice hoarse. There was no response. He remembered that Max had stayed last night and realised that they were probably downstairs having breakfast. 

He stumbled out of bed with a crash, getting his foot caught in the duvet, leaving his phone on the bed as he stood and looked at it. He really wanted to open Instagram, but he knew that he shouldn’t. 

Nick must have picked up and thrown his phone down a dozen times before he eventually muttered “fuck it” to himself, unlocked his phone and opened Instagram.

His heart sank he saw Cate with a beaming smile staring back at him with a guy he didn’t recognise. Nick felt his throat constrict a little and tears sprang to his eyes as he threw the phone down in anger.

All of his life, he’d never felt quite good enough for anyone and Cate had really made him believe that there could be something like a happily ever after for him and he’d been so utterly shocked when she’d told him she was leaving.

Nick suddenly realised that he was sitting on the floor, tears rolling down his face. He’d been so stupid, believing that he deserved a happy ending. He clumsily got to his feet, wiping his face as he stumbled into the bathroom. He looked around, noticing the shower and he turned it on full blast. He kicked his boxers off, tears still streaming down his face as he used the toilet and when he got into the shower, he let out a sob that he’d been trying to keep inside.

Nick leant against the tiles, his head tipped back as he let out several heart wrenching sobs. He slid down the wall, hugging his knees to his chest, wondering what he’d done so wrong in his life to deserve to feel so bad.

He didn’t know how long he’d been in there when the door was suddenly wrenched open and Kevin was under the water with him.

“Nick, what the fuck has happened?” Kevin asked urgently, crouching down in front of Nick who just looked at him wildly. “Nick. Talk to me.” He urged.  
“She posted a photo.” Nick wailed, his forehead resting on his knees as Kevin took his hands.  
“Cate?” Kevin asked and winced as Nick nodded.  
“And some bloke I’ve never met, looking loved up and I’m so fucking heart broken Kevin, I don’t know what to do!” He bawled.

Kevin let out a sigh. “Why are you in the shower?” He asked gently.  
“I didn’t want anyone to see me cry. I’m so fucking tired of crying.” Nick sobbed. “If I’m in here, nobody can see me crying.”

Kevin smiled softly. “Babe, there’s nobody else here. Max went off to school at some godforsaken hour.”  
“But you’re here!” Nick wept.

Kevin sat down, hugging Nick to him tightly, Nick’s head resting on his shoulder as Kevin reached up and turned the shower off. “Shh, it’s ok babe.” He soothed gently, running his hand through Nick’s sodden hair.

It was a few minutes later when Nick started to shiver but his cries had started to subside a little. Kevin hauled himself up with some difficulty, his jeans about a tonne heavier than they were dry and he pulled his t-shirt over his head, dumping it on the floor of the shower as he slid his hands under Nick’s arms and heaved Nick up. “Come on babe, help me out here!” He chuckled as Nick’s feet slid on the wet floor.

He eventually manhandled Nick out of the shower and sat him on the closed toilet seat. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around Nick’s shoulders, grabbing another and draping it over his hips.

Nick just stared at a spot on the floor, his eyes glazed and sore from crying. “What’s wrong with me?” He asked quietly, sniffling and Kevin passed him a tissue that Nick took but just held in his wet hand.

Kevin sighed as he peeled off his wet jeans, struggling with them over his ankles and feet before he dumped them into the bath. He pulled his socks off and his boxers and grabbed a robe on the back of the door, wrapping it around him.

“Babe, you are not the problem. There’s nothing wrong with you.” He told Nick softly as he went on a search for another robe, finding one with Kristin’s initials on it. “Sorry, it’s the only other one I’ve got.” He said as he helped Nick to stand up and he wrapped it around him, tying it around his waist.

“It must be me. I wasn’t good enough for her, she found someone else.” Nick said miserably.

Kevin rolled his eyes, biting his tongue. He’d always had a lot of time for Cate, and he didn’t want to be unkind about her, just in case there was a chance that she and Nick got back together, but he also couldn’t have Nick feeling like this for no good reason.

“You are too good Nick, for pretty much anyone.” Kevin told him, standing him up and steering him back into the bedroom. He sat Nick down on the edge of the bed and he dragged a chair in front of Nick, who was shaking his head.   
“My parents didn’t really want me, they blame me for everything that’s happened to our family and Cate knew how fucked up I was by it all. How could she meet someone else, Kev, how?” He pleaded, his eyes dark and wet again.

Kevin shut his eyes and pulled Nick’s head onto his shoulder. “Oh Nick. I don’t know what to tell you. I know you don’t want to hear this, but it will get easier.”

Nick let out a strangled sob. “You’re right, I don’t want to hear that, I want her back.” He cried, flinging himself back onto the bed, curling into a ball, his back to Kevin.

Kevin sighed, standing up and pushing Nick over towards the middle of the bed a little. He was surprised when Nick turned back to him, resting his head on Kevin’s shoulder and slinging a leg over Kevin’s waist.

*** 

Kevin listened to Nick’s snores a little while later. Nick had tried talking but Kevin had hushed him each time, feeling that Nick was already emotionally exhausted and if he still wanted to talk, Kevin would listen later.

He prised himself from under Nick’s limbs and headed back into the bathroom, grabbing some dry clothes from the wardrobe on the way. He was very glad he’d thought to throw his phone into the sink when he’d realised that Nick was sobbing in the shower so he grabbed that too.

Walking back into the bedroom, he pressed a kiss to Nick’s forehead and left him to sleep.

*** 

“How’s he doing?” AJ asked when Kevin rang.  
“He was doing ok - I was beginning to think we’d all overreacted about how bad he’d been, but there was a photo today and it’s … I found him sobbing in the shower.”

AJ blew out a breath. “I saw the photo.” He admitted. “I wondered how he’d react.”  
“Well, the answer is not well!” Kevin laughed. “Think I’m going to have a long day in front of me.”  
“Want me to come over and amuse the pair of you?” AJ laughed.  
“Nah, we’ll survive. Stay with the girls - we’ll be going again in a few days.”  
“Reckon he’ll be ok to go back on the road?”

Kevin shrugged. “He’s gonna have to be. I just need to make sure he doesn’t get hold of a drink and he gets a bit less emotional than he was this morning!”

*** 

Kevin knocked on the bedroom door after he’d heard movement upstairs. “Hey.” He smiled as he saw Nick sitting on the edge of the bed, still in the bathrobe.

Nick glanced up. “Hey.”  
“How you feeling?” Kevin asked, sitting down next to him.  
“Pretty stupid.” Nick admitted quietly.  
“Why?”  
“You had to drag me sobbing out of a shower Kev, it was hardly my finest hour!”

Kevin laughed a little. “Well, yeah, ok, not your finest hour, but I do understand it.”  
“I need you to go through all my social media accounts and get rid of her. Is that alright?” Nick asked.

“Of course it is. Come on, go and have a proper shower - I’ll stay in here, make sure you don’t fall down the plughole and then we’ll go and grab something to eat?”

Nick nodded, pushing himself up and he shuffled towards the bathroom.

As Kevin heard the shower turn on, he found some more clothes, getting changed and then going to Nick’s room to grab his bag of clothes. He smiled as he saw the fort that Max had slept in the night before.

“All done?” He asked as Nick appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair wet. “Feel better?”  
“Bit more human I guess.” He replied. “My eyes are killing me though.”

Kevin opened a drawer. “Kris left a few bits and pieces of hers here - she might have some eye cream somewhere. Aha, here we are.” He said, passing a small jar to Nick.

“Why are there some of Kris’ things still here?” Nick asked.  
“Sometimes she stays. I know, we’re divorced and it’s not healthy, but it wasn’t a bad divorce, we don’t hate each other and I think sometimes we just need the comfort of what was and there are times she stays over.” Kevin explained with a shrug. “I know, don’t tell me it’s not healthy, because I already know that.” He said.

Nick nodded at him, unconvinced. “Think this’ll work?” He asked, nodding at the small jar.  
“Well, she’s pretty much wrinkle free in her 40s, so something’s got to have worked!”

*** 

“So, tell me more about Kris staying over. Doesn’t that confuse the boys sometimes?” Nick asked as he tucked into his BBQ pulled pork sandwich an hour later.

Kevin looked up as he put a forkful of his salmon into his mouth. “It doesn’t happen when the boys are around - that would confuse them too much.” He answered.

“Is it what you want? I mean, who started it?” Nick asked.  
“It just happened one night. The boys were with her parents and she’d come over to talk about a few things and we had a few glasses of wine and one thing led to another. It didn’t really mean anything, it still doesn’t - it’s just hard to completely break away from someone that you have so much history with.” He shrugged.

Nick nodded. His eyes were still red and sore from earlier and they were sat outside at the Beachside Cafe, his sunglasses firmly covering his eyes. “Guess I should be grateful Cate and I never had kids.” He said, taking another mouthful.

Kevin swallowed his mouthful. “Probably a good thing. At least Kris and I kind of just fell out of love, there wasn’t anyone else and we kept it amicable.”  
“What happens if one of you meets someone else?” Nick asked.  
“We’ve talked about it - we’ll see what happens if and when that happens.”  
“I reckon I’ve left it too late to have kids now.” Nick sighed, finishing his sandwich and taking a long mouthful of his iced tea.

Kevin shook his head. “I doubt it! I was 42 when Max was born.” He reminded Nick.  
“I’m 38 already, I’ve got to meet someone and settle down and know that they aren’t going to do what … what Cate has done. Unless I meet someone much younger than me, I’ve hardly got years left.”

“I didn’t think you really wanted kids?”   
“It’s something we’d been thinking about. Anyway, probably irrelevant now.” Nick smiled sadly.  
“Maybe you’ll meet somebody who already has kids?” Kevin suggested.

Nick shook his head. “Not sure I want that either! I mean, that’s just complicated shit!”  
Kevin looked at Nick. “You realise that’s what is most likely going to happen to me if I find someone to spend the rest of my life with? Plus, I have the boys - I have kids, you saying you wouldn’t settle down with me?!” He teased.

Nick laughed. “Well, that’s different! I love your kids already! I just mean getting to know kids that I don’t know - it’s fine if I already know them!”

*** 

Kevin dropped his car keys onto the hall table when he arrived home the following afternoon. He’d left Nick sleeping, in his bed, earlier that morning as he had a few errands to run and had picked the boys up from school. He’d stayed at Kris’ for a while as she’d asked how Nick was doing so he’d told her all that had happened recently.

When he got into the kitchen, he could see that Nick had clearly made himself something to eat, or drink - there was blender stuff everywhere and fruit and vegetables left over the island and not put away in the fridge. 

With a sigh, he started putting stuff away. He put the blender bits in the dishwasher, noticing it was full so he put it on and then he started putting the fruit and vegetables back in the fridge. 

It was only as he got a cloth to wipe the surface down, that he noticed a small amount of white powder on the corner of the island.

“What…” He began, his heart jumping into his mouth as he looked down at the fine particles. “Fuck.” He muttered to himself. He stood back from the island, staring at it. He didn’t know what to do.

He was saved from making that decision when Nick appeared by the patio door, having clearly been in the pool. 

“Hey dude, how was pick up?” Nick asked, walking inside, dripping water everywhere and grabbing a glass. He opened the fridge and poured himself a large glass of orange juice. “Kev?” He asked when Kevin just looked blankly at him.

“Are you using again?” Kev asked, wincing at how harsh the words sounded.

Nick’s eyes widened. “What the fuck?! NO!” He shouted angrily, slamming the glass down, the orange juice spilling over the sides.

“Then what’s this?” Kevin snapped, nodding at the white powder on the island.

Nick glared at Kevin. “I cannot believe that you, of all people, would even think that I’d be using again! Fuck’s sake Kev! I’ve been clean of drugs for 8 fucking years! Why on earth would I start now?!” He yelled.

“I dunno Nick, you’re in a bad place, you’re fragile…”

“I am so sick of people thinking I’m fragile, that I can’t look after myself! So I’m the youngest - I’ve grown the fuck up Kev, I got clean, by myself I might add - I didn’t go to rehab, I did it on my own and it was the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever done and you think I’m so emotionally stunted that the moment Cate dumps me for some other fucking guy, I’d start using again!” He shouted.

Kevin was silent for a moment. He hadn’t seen Nick this angry in a very long time. “Why, Nick? You worked so hard to get clean.” He said quietly.

“Stick your finger in it.” Nick demanded, grabbing Kevin’s hand and bending his forefinger out and sweeping it through the powder.  
“Don’t be fucking stupid Nick, I’m not getting high with you.” Kevin snapped.

“It’s fucking electrolyte powder, you fucking moron! Jeez, I would have expected this maybe from one of the others, but you? I thought we trusted each other! Well, you know what, fuck you Kev.” Nick spat, grabbing his glass of orange juice and stalking out of the kitchen.

Kevin watched Nick disappear from the kitchen. He let out a long sigh as he brought his finger to his mouth and tasted the familiar orange taste of the electrolyte powder they all used after a workout.

“Fuck.” He groaned. He kicked the cabinet hard, hopping around on one foot as it stung. He hobbled out of the kitchen and headed up to where he could hear Nick banging and crashing around.

“Nick?” He said quietly at Nick’s door as he watched the blond throw his clothes into a bag, slamming drawers.  
“Just fuck off, I don’t want to talk to you.” Nick muttered, his voice thick with unshed tears.  
“I’m sorry.” Kevin said, taking a step into the room.  
“It means shit Kev.” Nick turned on Kevin, his eyes angry. “You, of all people, you know how hard I worked, to prove to you, YOU, that I could do it, that I could get clean. I can’t believe you saw one tiny bit of white powder and you immediately thought the worst of me!” He said, his voice shaking.

“I was worried!” Kevin tried to defend himself. “You’re in such a bad place at the moment, that I thought the worst and I know I shouldn’t have done, but…”  
“But what Kev?” Nick spat, turning back to his bag and shoving his t-shirts in. “I already feel fucking worthless, Cate dumping me was the worst fucking thing that has happened in years, but you really think I’m so weak, that I’d start using again?”

“You’re not weak Nick, you’re one of the strongest people I know.” Kevin said, taking another step forward and gingerly putting the palm of his hand between Nick’s shoulder blades.

“I don’t mean enough to anyone for them to stay.” Nick suddenly said quietly, tears rolling down his face.

Kevin’s heart froze and he put his hands on Nick’s hips, turning him and pulling him into his arms. “That is so untrue Nick.” He told him honestly as Nick’s body shook silently against Kevin’s.

“Nobody has ever wanted me forever - my parents didn’t, Paris didn’t, Cate didn’t…” He cried quietly.  
“We do Nick.” Kevin said fiercely, putting his hands either side of Nick’s face. “We will always want you - we wanted you at your very worst, none of us are ever going to let you down or let you go.”  
“You left me.” Nick murmured, sniffing hard.  
“But I came back, didn’t I?”  
“Think Cate will?” Nick asked hopefully.

Kevin shook his head. “I hope not. Seeing you like this is breaking my heart – she’s not good for you if she’s going to break your heart. You’re too good for her. I’m so sorry I asked if you were using again.”

Nick shrugged. “Guess it’s a logical assumption - once a user, always a user.” He said angrily, wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands as Kevin pulled him into his arms again.

“No. We don’t think that, you know that. For those few seconds, between finding it and you coming in, it freaked me the fuck out, I was so scared.” Kevin told him.

Nick stepped back, grabbing a tissue from the side of the bed. “I’d never start. I know I’ve been drinking too much but I’ll never, never go down the drugs route again, I absolutely promise.”

“You are not worthless Nick. Never have been, never will be. You are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met and I’m so glad that I’ve spent the last 25 years with you in my life.” Kevin told him honestly. 

*** 

“You know why you thinking I was using again hurt so much?” Nick asked later that evening. They were sat in the garden, listening to the silence of the Hollywood Hills, the wind rustling the trees and the odd car driving nearby.

Kevin looked over at Nick. “Why?”  
“I spent so much of my childhood thinking that people didn’t care about me - not really. Like, my parents looked after me, they took me places and shit, but if I hadn’t been there, they wouldn’t have missed me. The more I think about Cate in the last couple of years, the more I wonder just how much of it was real - I thought I was a pretty good judge of character, but part of me wonders whether she used me because of who I am and it’s made me rethink our entire relationship. It’s kinda overwhelming having somebody who cares about me when there’s nothing to gain from it.” Nick tried to explain. “Yeah, I freaked out that you thought I was using, but at least you cared enough to confront me about it.”

“Nick, any of us would have done the same, we all care about you, and we all love you.” Kevin tried to reassure him. “I am gonna care about you until the day I die - why do you think I called you so much, did so much even when I wasn’t in the band? The bond that we all have is there for life, it’s never gonna change.”

“I never feel like I deserve it.” Nick admitted quietly.

Kevin stood up, grabbed Nick’s hands and pulled him up too, hugging him as tightly as he could manage without cutting off Nick’s oxygen. “Dude, you deserve the whole fucking world and I will tell you that every day for the rest of my life if I have to for you to believe me.”

*** 

“I’m taking the boys ice skating after school. Wanna come?” Kevin asked when he woke up the next morning. Nick had gone straight into Kevin’s room at bedtime last night, not even putting up the pretence of trying to sleep on his own and Nick had been awake for a little while when Kevin spoke.

“I can’t skate.” He said.  
“That’s ok, I can teach you.” Kevin grinned.

*** 

“Well, that caused quite a ruckus!” Nick laughed as he climbed into Kevin’s car, glancing over his shoulder at the boys after they’d picked the boys up from school.  
“Well, it’s not often you get two Backstreet Boys for the price of one!” Kevin laughed. He made sure the boys’ had their seatbelts on and then pulled out of the parking space.  
“I tell you, we’ll start rumours!” Nick grinned.  
“What sort of rumours?” Mason asked curiously and Kevin just laughed.  
“Nothing for you to worry about!”

*** 

“Woah!” Nick cried as he stepped onto the ice. He grabbed hold of Kevin’s arm as he stood easily next to him on the ice.

“Careful!” Kevin laughed, putting one hand on Nick’s waist to keep him upright. “I thought you’d at least be able to stand up!” He teased.  
“Shut up. I’m hardly graceful, am I? And wow, how fast are your boys on the ice?” He said, watching as they boys raced each other around the rink.

“Wanna go a bit further round?” Kevin asked, watching the boys to make sure they weren’t disrupting anyone.  
“Nah, I’m just gonna stay here I think.” Nick said awkwardly.  
“Don’t be soft!” Kevin grinned, sliding his hand into Nick’s. “Just relax, trust me, alright?” He said softly as Nick’s body tensed as his skates moved a little on the ice.

Nick nodded. “Ok. But if I go down, I’m taking you with me.” He warned Kevin.  
“I don’t doubt it!” Kevin grinned.

By the time they’d gone around the rink a couple of times, Nick had started to relax a little, although he was still clutching at Kevin’s hand tightly.

“I can’t walk straight!” Nick laughed as they finally came off the ice an hour later. He flexed his hand.

“You alright?” Kevin asked, nodding at Nick’s hand.  
“Haven’t held somebody’s hand for that long for ages! I’ve got cramp in it!” Nick laughed, sitting down to unlace his skates.  
“And it’s your right hand, shucks man, sorry!” Kevin teased, winking at Nick.  
“Well, if I can’t, you know where I’m gonna come looking, don’tcha?!” Nick laughed, his cheeks a little flushed.

Mason frowned at them both. “What’s wrong with your hand Nick?”

Kevin looked down at his eldest son and ruffled his hair. “You’ll understand one day - a very long time from now!”

Nick kicked his skates off and stood up. “Christ, my legs are gonna hurt for days!” He complained as he tried to stretch his legs out to walk to the shoe counter. He frowned and stopped as he heard Kevin laughing behind him. “What?”

“You look like you’ve been on a horse, John Wayne!” Kevin grinned, pretending to be horrified as Nick stuck two fingers up at him.

*** 

The next evening, they were back at the LA Zoo. Kevin had seen a poster advertising a Roaring Night and Nick had spent most of the day moping around the house, so he’d dragged Nick out for the evening.

“This is pretty cool.” Nick said as they walked around in the sunset. “It’s like some sort of mini festival.”   
“Want something to eat?” Kevin suggested. “They’ve got loads of great sounding stuff.”

They sat down 20 minutes later, a fair way from the stage. They’d both got burgers and a couple of beers.

“Thanks for putting up with me.” Nick said, belching as he finished his beer. “God, that tasted good - I hope you know I’ve not had a drink in almost a week.” He said, raising his eyebrows at Kevin.

“I know. I’m proud of you dude. And look, it’s no more than AJ, Brian or Howie would have done for you.” He said, nudging Nick’s shoulder with his own. 

“Well, apart from the fact that I can’t be around Brian because he and Leighanne are still like newlyweds nearly 20 years later, Howie and Leighanne couldn’t have the stress of me in their house with another baby on the way and AJ and I together when one of us are like this is just a recipe for disaster.” Nick reminded him, leaning down onto his elbows on the grass as he finished his burger.

“Well, yeah, apart for those reasons!” Kevin laughed, leaning back next to Nick, his fingers resting over Nick’s.

“I mean it, you’ve always been there for me and I can never repay you.” Nick replied, squeezing Kevin’s hand in his own and leaving it there.

They lay there in silence for a few minutes, listening to the DJ starting his set and watching people mill around - people on dates and families.

“Wanna go and check out the DJ?” Nick asked eventually, letting go of Kevin’s hand and pushing himself up from the ground.  
“It’s kinda busy - can’t we just listen from here?” Kevin asked, having been comfortable and relaxed so close to Nick on the grass.  
“Come on, old man!” Nick laughed, reaching down and grabbing Kevin’s hands, pulling him up.

Nick let go of one hand, but kept the fingers of their other hand loosely interlinked as he pulled them through the crowds, not wanting to lose Kevin.

As they got closer to where the DJ set was, a familiar song started to play.

“Oh my god, really?!” Nick laughed as ‘Everybody’ was blared over the speakers. Kevin stopped, tugging on Nick’s hand to stop him too. 

They grinned stupidly at each other as a few people noticed them and Kevin groaned as Nick started the dance routine.

When the song finished a few minutes later, Nick was grinning his head off, his hair slightly sweaty and Kevin thought it was the most carefree he’d seen Nick look in a long time.

*** 

“Remind me why we are on such an early flight to Vegas?” Nick groaned as he rested his head on Kevin’s back, between his shoulder blades.   
“Because we’ve got shit to do this afternoon.” Kevin replied, taking their passports back from the lady at the check in desk. “And can you please stop drooling over my jacket.” He grinned.

Nick stood upright. “Sorry, I’m tired - I didn’t know we were going to be up so early.” Nick complained, grabbing his flight bag from the floor.

“Well, there was a reason I didn’t tell you! You’d have just complained all night!” Kevin grinned as they walked towards passport control, seeing Howie up in front of them.

*** 

“Ready?” Kevin asked as they sat outside Nick’s Vegas home late afternoon.  
“I mean, I know she’s moved stuff out, but it’s still gonna be weird.” Nick said, his hand on the door of the car.  
“Come on, let’s get it over with.” Kevin smiled.

Nick’s hand trembled as he opened the front door and turned the alarm off. He quickly glanced around, immediately noticing a small table that used to be in the hallway had gone. 

“Ok?” Kevin asked, watching Nick carefully.  
“I think I need to do this on my own.” Nick said quietly.  
“Dude…” Kevin began.  
“Just, don’t go - wait for me in the garden or something, yeah?” Nick asked, his voice strained.  
“Are you sure?” Kevin asked, feeling like this was a very bad idea.  
“Sure.” Nick repeated, his eyes fixed on a place on the wall which looked faded and Kevin could only assume a picture had once hung there.

Kevin clapped his hand on Nick’s back. “Yell if you need me, alright?”  
Nick merely nodded and headed towards his bedroom.

Kevin walked through the lounge, unlocking the patio door and heading into the garden. “Talk about a glutton for punishment.” He said to himself.

Half an hour later, and there was still no sign of Nick. Kevin had scrolled through Instagram several times, even posted a couple of things, but he’d pretty much exhausted everything he could do to occupy himself.

With a sigh, not really wanting to know how much of a state Nick was in but knowing he had to, he wandered inside. There was no sign of him in the living areas of the house, so he headed towards the bedroom.

“Nick?” He called “Dude, where are you?” 

He heard a crash coming from Nick’s bedroom and he pushed the door open. His heart sank as he saw Nick flinging a photo frame across the room, flinching as it smashed on the opposite wall, a wail coming out of Nick’s mouth that Kevin had never heard before. He surveyed the mess in the room, there was stuff everywhere, upturned chairs, cushions all over the place, clothes which he assumed must be Cate’s strewn over the floor and Nick’s face was red and furious, his hair sticking up in every direction. The duvet and pillows were half on and half off the bed and it looked like the mattress had been slashed because springs were poking up out of it, stuffing all over the floor. A brand new TV had been ripped from the wall and lay in pieces on the floor where Nick stood.

“Nickolas.” Kevin said sharply and he ducked as Nick turned to him wildly, another photo frame being hurled across the room. “Hey! Dude!” Kevin said, crossing the room quickly and holding Nick’s forearms in his hands tightly. “Nick, look at me.”

Nick’s body shook with tension and anger as he looked through Kevin, his eyes glazed. “She left!” He howled.

“Nick.” Kevin said softly. He’d never seen Nick look quite so freaked out before when he wasn’t high on some sort of substance, and it was scaring him. “Babe, look at me.” He repeated.

Nick shook his head, his eyes unmoving as he did so. “I need a drink.” He gasped, his voice hoarse.

Kevin’s eyes narrowed. “No fucking way Carter.” He said sternly. But Nick still shook, his body almost convulsing and Kevin looked around, trying to think of something to calm him down.

Without thinking, he surged forward, pressing his lips to Nick’s. He put his hands on Nick’s cheeks, holding him still as Nick’s eyes widened in surprise and just as Kevin went to pull back, glad that the shock had worked, he felt Nick relax under his touch as he parted his lips, his tongue sliding along the crease of Kevin’s lips and Kevin couldn’t help the moan that came out of his mouth, his lips parting as he did so.

Nick wrapped his arms around Kevin’s neck, his eyes falling closed as he kissed Kevin desperately - Kevin could feel the tears on Nick’s face under his fingers.

Kevin’s own eyes fell shut as he moved his hands from Nick’s cheeks to his waist, pulling him closer as they kissed. He kept waiting for his mind to tell him to stop because he was kissing a guy, for goodness sake, but all he could think was how good a kisser Nick was and he didn’t want to be the one to break it.

Nick suddenly broke the kiss, gasping for air where he’d already been short of it from all the crying and screaming he’d been doing and he rested their foreheads together. 

“Ok?” Kevin asked quietly, taking a tissue out of his pocket and gently wiping Nick’s face, which was red and blotchy. “Here, blow your nose.” He said, handing the tissue to Nick.

Nick blew his nose, stuffing the tissue into his back pocket. He rested his head on Kevin’s shoulder and Kevin pulled him closer, stroking his hand through Nick’s hair softly, humming a little. He sat down on the edge of the destroyed mattress and pulled Nick down with him. “Your heart is racing.” He commented as Nick nestled his head onto Kevin’s shoulder.

“Could be because you kissed me.” Nick said with a shaky laugh.   
“You alright now?” Kevin asked again, dropping a soft kiss onto Nick’s cheek.

Nick nodded, sitting up and wiping his eyes with his hands again, his hands balled into fists as he scrubbed at them. “Sorry.” He said.  
“Don’t apologise - it’s your room!” Kevin teased him. 

“When I said I needed a drink,” Nick said idly “I meant water.” He said, cuddling back into Kevin.

Kevin burst out laughing. “OH! Not whiskey or anything?” He asked, pulling back a little so he could look at Nick.  
“No. But fuck me, you kiss good!” Nick laughed softly.   
“I just...I wanted...I didn’t know how else to get your attention.” Kevin admitted.  
“Well, fuck me, it worked.” Nick replied, the smile falling off his face as he glanced around his bedroom. “I don’t even remember - how did I slash the mattress?” He asked, looking down at the mattress and away from Kevin to survey the mess.

“I don’t know - I just came to find you and you were like a wild animal.” Kevin told him, trying to ignore the way his lips tingled from how hard Nick had kissed him.

“Fuck, this is going to take some cleaning up.” Nick sighed. “I hate that she’s made me so much of a fucking mess.” He scowled.  
“You look like a pretty hot mess right now!” Kevin teased.  
“Alright Richardson,” Nick smirked “one kiss and you’re leering over me!”

Kevin stuck his middle finger up at Nick. “Well fuck you then if you think I’m gonna help clean this up!” He grinned, his insides churning as he looked Nick up and down. “You ok?”  
“Yeah, pretty good way to distract me.” Nick said softly, reaching out for Kevin’s fingers and squeezing them gently before he started to pick up a few things off the floor.

*** 

Nick wasn’t sure if it was the just the adrenaline rush of Kevin kissing him earlier in the day, but he was now even more antsy and on edge than he had been about coming to Vegas in the first place. The show had been great, and Nick was sure that was because he was so wired, but when he’d got home, he’d shown Kevin one of the spare rooms and decided he’d at least try and sleep on his own, although in one of the other spare rooms as his bedroom was still wrecked.

But he’d been awake for a couple of hours now and he knew it wasn’t just from the buzz of the show. He couldn’t stop thinking about how nice it had felt when Kevin had kissed him and whilst logically he knew that Kevin had only kissed him because he’d no other way of getting through to Nick, he couldn’t help but want to kiss Kevin again.

With a frustrated sigh, he threw the covers off and headed out of the room and straight for Kevin’s room.

“Can I come in?” He asked, pushing the door open.  
“Course.” Kevin said, not at all surprised to find that Nick had appeared.

Nick slid into the bed, immediately propping his head up on his elbow, the other arm resting on Kevin’s waist as Kevin lay on his back.

“Can you kiss me again?” Nick asked bluntly.  
Kevin spluttered in surprise. “What?” He asked, turning his head to look at Nick.  
“I really, really want to you to kiss me again.” Nick said quietly.  
“Why?” Kevin asked stupidly.  
“Because it was horrible and I want to relive how bad it was! God, you’re stupid sometimes! Please. Please.” He repeated, knowing he sounded a little desperate but not embarrassed enough to care.

Kevin turned onto his side, leaning forward and pressing his lips to Nick’s, his stomach lurching as Nick whined a little as their lips met.

There was no urgency to the kiss like there had been earlier. Both men shuffled together a little, their tongues entwined as they kissed lazily.

A little while later, Kevin pulled back, stroking Nick’s neck gently. “Sleep now, ok babe?” He suggested and Nick nodded, curling his head onto Kevin’s shoulder.  
“Thank you.” Nick sighed sleepily.   
“For what?” Kevin asked.  
“Kissing me.” Nick yawned, closing his eyes and if Kevin replied, Nick never knew.

*** 

Kevin’s stomach was all over the place with nerves as he rang Kristin the next morning. Nick had been fast asleep when he’d woken up so he’d slipped out of bed and was in the garden with a cup of coffee.

“I did something and I think it might have been really stupid.” He told her after he’d asked after her and the boys.  
“Oh?” She asked curiously.  
“I kissed Nick yesterday.”   
“Our Nick?” She asked in surprise.  
“Twice.”  
“Ok, well, once can be a mistake, but twice is deliberate Kev!” She laughed.  
“I kissed him when he was trashing his bedroom and I couldn’t get through to him, like his brain was switched off and it was the only thing I could think of to shock him.”  
“And the second time?” Kristen asked.  
“He came into my bed around 3am and asked me to kiss him again.” Kevin said, holding his head in his hands.  
“And you did?”  
“Of course I did! Fuck, what the fuck am I doing?” He cried.  
“Did you enjoy kissing him the second time?”  
“Yeah.”  
“As much as you used to enjoy kissing me?” She asked carefully.  
“Yeah.” Kevin breathed out.  
“It turned you on?” She teased lightly.  
“Are you trying to make me uncomfortable?!” He laughed nervously.  
“No darling, I’m trying to work out what you’re doing!” Kristin laughed, amused.  
“Well, I’m fucked if I know so there’s no chance you can work it out!”  
“Have you ever been attracted to him before?”  
“No! That’s why I’m so bloody confused!” Kevin cried. “Maybe it’s just because he’s lonely and heartbroken.” He suggested, more to himself than Kristin.

“Maybe. Just, treat him like normal, don’t make a big deal of it - he’s too fragile for you to mess around with him at the moment, ok?”

*** 

“Morning.” Nick grinned as he found Kevin in his kitchen an hour later. “I slept like a log! You sleep ok?” He asked, grabbing a coffee mug from a cupboard and pouring himself a coffee from the pot Kevin had put on earlier.  
“Yeah. Glad you slept ok. I might go for a run, wanna join me?” He asked.  
“Nah, not really dude!” Kevin laughed. “Might have a swim though.”  
“OK, well if you’re still there when I get back, I’ll join you.” He grinned.

*** 

Kevin was surprised with how easily and naturally the day passed, almost like he’d dreamt Nick asking him for a kiss because neither of them mentioned it and it didn’t seem to have changed anything at all. 

Which is why, when Nick appeared in his doorway half an hour after they’d gone to bed, he was a little surprised.

“Hey.” He said as Nick climbed into bed with him.  
“Hey.” Nick replied.  
“You alright?”  
“Wondered if you might help me sleep again?” Nick murmured.  
“What do you mean?” Kevin asked with a frown.  
“Kissing, Kev. Kissing.” Nick laughed lightly.

This time, Kevin found he couldn’t stop kissing Nick and his hand pressed down onto Nick’s waist as he fought his overwhelming urge to touch Nick.

“We’ve gotta sleep.” Kevin eventually said, knowing that if he didn’t stop then, there was no way he would be able to.

Nick sighed, not trying to hide his disappointment. “Ok. Love you.” He said softly.  
Kevin turned onto his side, facing away from Nick. “Love you too.” He replied quietly. 

He lay in the darkness for a little while, his eyes open and staring at nothing as he heard Nick toss and turn behind him. He tensed a little as he felt Nick slide up close behind him and he bit down on his lip as he felt Nick’s cock digging into his back.

“This ok?” Nick checked, keeping his hands to himself but rocking his hips against Kevin’s arse.  
“Uh huh…” Kevin managed to choke out. He desperately wanted to turn over and touch Nick but he didn’t want to ruin things so he just let Nick grind against him, just as turned on as Nick was.

When Nick realised that Kevin wasn’t going to turn over and ravish him, he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed but he knew in the back of his mind that Kevin was just being sensible. He couldn’t help wish that Kevin was a bit more reckless at times.

Reluctantly, he turned onto his back, his cock throbbing but he took a few deep breaths. “Night.” He said quietly.

Kevin didn’t say anything, not trusting his voice because he was so turned on that he was sure his voice would be the slowest it had ever been, and he wasn’t sure he wanted Nick to know just how much of an effect he’d had on him.

He lay in the darkness for a while, his own cock still rock hard and as he heard a gentle snore from behind him, he snaked his hand under the duvet, taking himself in his hand and letting out an almost silent gasp as he wrapped his hand around himself.

His heart hammered in his chest, knowing if he was going to get himself off, he should at least go into the bathroom, but there was something that turned him on even more with Nick lying asleep beside him.

He started off slow, biting down on his lip so that he didn’t make a sound but his fist soon sped up. He knew his breathing was becoming a little laboured but he was frustrated because he was at the wrong angle.

He nearly flew off the bed in shock as he felt Nick’s hand on him. “Can I help?” Nick murmured in his ear and Kevin nodded desperately. “Fuck, yes.” He gasped as Nick pulled him onto his back, sliding his hand into Kevin’s boxers and wrapping his hand around Kevin’s cock.

“You feel so big.” Nick said breathily.   
Kevin let out a shaky laugh. “Thanks!”  
“Knew you were affected by me grinding on you.” Nick teased as he slid his hand down to Kevin’s balls and rolled them gently between his fingers.  
“You’re such a fucking tease.” Kevin gasped.  
“Er, you’re the one who didn’t respond!” Nick grinned. 

Before Kevin could answer, Nick’s tongue was in his mouth and he kissed Kevin slowly and thoroughly as he jerked Kevin off. 

Kevin’s back arched off the bed as he felt his orgasm start and he cried out as he came all over Nick’s hand, pulling back from their kiss as he gasped for breath.

Without waiting for Kevin to come down from his high, Nick let go of Kevin, shoved his hand into his own boxers, turned on so much by the fact his hand was covered in Kevin and a few hard jerks later, he was coming.

Nick slumped down on the bed and then clambered out of the bed, heading for the bathroom. He switched a light on, dampened a cloth and cleaned himself up before taking another one through for Kevin.

“We ok?” Nick asked, seeing the turmoil on Kevin’s face.  
Kevin nodded as he wiped his stomach and chest.  
“Yeah, come on, come back to bed.” He smiled softly, sleep already threatening to take him.

Nick threw the cloths in the sink, mentally trying to remind himself that he needed to clean them tomorrow and climbed back into bed with Kevin. He kissed him softly as he realised that Kevin had drifted into a light sleep.

*** 

They had one more night in Vegas and Nick had planned on staying at home on his own when Kevin went back to LA for 4 nights, but he now found that he couldn’t be away from Kevin for very long.

“Dude, honestly, what’s going on with the pair of you?” Howie asked, sitting down by Nick. “When did you get so co-dependent?”

Nick shrugged. “We’ve been messing about.” He said quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear him.  
“You and Kev?!” Howie gasped loudly and then clapped his hand over his mouth as Nick glared at him. “Whoops, sorry.” He grimaced. “You and Kev? When did that happen?”

Nick peered at Howie. “Why aren’t you surprised?”  
Howie shrugged. “Come on, it’s been inevitable that something would happen with people in this band for years!” He grinned. “If we got to 25 years without any of us sleeping together, I’d have been more amazed.”

Nick just stared at Howie in disbelief. “So it doesn’t matter?”  
“Fuck no! I wondered if it might - I mean, I know you’re still heartbroken over Cate and shit, but honestly, you could do worse than Kev.”   
“I think we are just messing about - you know he still get his end away with Kristin occasionally?” He asked.

Howie stared at him. “Are you freaking serious?! I knew it!” He cried. “Leigh and I were talking about it last night and she didn’t think they were, but I knew it! Is that ok with you?” He asked.

Nick shrugged and frowned at the same time. “Don’t think I’ve got any kind of claim on him H.”  
“Do you want to have?”  
“No! We’re just messing about, it’s just a bit of fun.” Nick said, pushing the idea down before it could take hold.

*** 

Because they were getting the night flight from Vegas straight after the show, when they finally got to Kevin’s at 4am, both men just fell into their own beds and slept straight through until mid morning the following day.

“Want to pick the boys up with me? Gotta leave in about an hour.” Kevin asked over breakfast at 2pm.  
Nick grinned. “Yeah, why not? You doing anything with them this afternoon?”  
“No, said I’d feed them and then take them back to Kris’ for bedtime.”   
“It’s handy her living over the road.”  
“You’re telling me - I’m so glad we managed to stay friends.” Kevin agreed.

Nick took a sip of his coffee. “Do you and Kris...like, often?” He asked.  
Kevin raised his eyebrows. “Sleep together, you mean?”  
Nick nodded, finding the contents of his mug suddenly very interesting.  
“No, not often. Couple of times a month maybe.” He shrugged.  
“That’s quite regular Kev! Some married couples don’t have sex that often!” Nick laughed, his eyes darting up to Kevin.

“We were a lot more frequent when we were married, so it’s definitely less than before!” Kevin grinned.  
“Alright, make some of us feel inadequate!” Nick laughed. “I mean, maybe I should have realised that we were having less sex than before.” He said.  
“You and Cate?” Kevin asked.  
“Yeah. Was very rare in the last few months.”  
“Shit. You never said anything.”

Nick shrugged. “Kinda didn’t occur to me.” He admitted.  
Kevin peered at him. “You didn’t miss it?” He asked in disbelief.  
“Not really. I mean, it was maybe every 3 weeks, but I was away so much, that I just put it down to that.”  
“You’ve seemed better since…” Kevin trailed off, realising that it was their first kiss when things had changed.  
“Yeah, you’re pretty distracting.” Nick said with a grin.  
“We’re ok, aren’t we?” Kevin asked.   
“Of course we are dude.” Nick assured him. “I enjoyed it.”  
“Me too.” Kevin said with a small smile.

Nick’s phone rang and they both jumped. “Shit. It’s Cate.” Nick said, looking up at Kevin with wide eyes.  
“You gonna answer it?”

Nick looked back down at his phone. “Yeah, I guess...Hi.” He said, swiping his phone and disappearing from the kitchen.

*** 

Nick hadn’t appeared from his room since he’d answered Cate’s call and Kevin didn’t want to interrupt whatever was going on so when it was time to go for the school run, Kevin left a note in the kitchen for Nick and headed out.

Nick heard Kevin’s car leave the driveway long after he’d finished his phone call with Cate. It hadn’t been a particularly long phone call but it had been emotional and Nick felt wrung out.

He dialled Kevin’s number, knowing he’d answer the call from his car.

“Hey, sorry I left, I didn’t want to interrupt.” Kevin said, answering.  
“It’s ok. I’d finished, but … she wants to get back together.” Nick said numbly.  
“Oh. Is that what you want?” Kevin asked carefully as he pulled into the parking lot at the boys’ school.  
“I don’t know. It’s been, what, 8, 9 weeks and I felt like I was doing better. You know, apart from trashing my bedroom last week!” He joked emptily.  
“What did you tell her?” Kevin asked, switching the engine off.  
“That I’d think about it.”  
“Did she sound sorry?”  
“She sounded like I did a few weeks ago. Wrecked. Drunk. At 2 o’clock in the afternoon.”

Kevin snorted. “Yeah, that was you a few weeks ago! Sorry!” He laughed. “So, she’s broken up with this other guy? Despite the photo she posted on Instagram just a few days ago?”

“I guess, I don’t know, I didn’t ask.” Nick said.  
“You probably need to know that. Fuck Nick, she needs to be sure about this, and so do you. Is it really what you want? Can you trust her again?” Kevin asked, feeling a little more desperate than he’d expected to.  
“Fuck, I don’t know! I mean, she’s cheated on me once, how do I know for sure that she won’t ever again?”  
“That’s something you’ve got to work out whether it’s worth the risk or not.” Kevin told him carefully, getting out of the car and switching the call to his phone from the car so he could go in and get the boys.  
“I don’t ever wanna feel like I’ve been feeling for the last few weeks again, I know that much.”  
“Can you trust her to never put you through that again?” Kevin repeated.  
“I miss her.” Nick said sadly.

Kevin blew out a breath, pinching the top of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “Do you miss the idea of her, of your future, or do you miss her? Because I have to admit dude, whilst you’ve talked about her, I never got the impression that it was her you really missed - I think you love the idea of being in love and having a relationship and some stability that you didn’t have as a kid and I don’t want you to go back for the wrong reasons.”  
“Nobody else wants me.” Nick said.  
“That’s not fucking true and you know it.” Kevin snapped. “Sometimes Nick, you have to take a risk.”  
“So you think I should get back together with her?” Nick asked. 

Kevin scowled. “You know what? It’s your decision. You do what the fuck you think is right.” He snapped, hanging up. 

***

“Wanna tell me what’s wrong?” Kristin asked Kevin. He’d picked the boys up and then hung around the house, not really wanting to go back to his and see Nick.

“I don’t really know myself - I think something more might have happened with me and Nick, but Cate called him earlier.” He sighed, taking the wine glass that Kristin was holding out to him. “Thanks.”  
“Do you want something to happen?”  
“I don’t know. I think I might. I’ve never thought of having a relationship with a guy before, but with Nick it’s different.” He admitted, taking a large sip of wine. “Like, it’s just Nick - it kind of doesn’t matter whether he’s a guy or not.”  
“Does he want Cate back?” She asked, sitting down next to him in the garden.  
“Probably. But I told him I wasn’t sure if he missed her, or missed having someone in his life and he kind of got a bit stroppy about it.” He grimaced.

Kristin laughed. “Nick? A bit stroppy when you tell him something he might not want to hear?! Never!” She grinned. “He does latch on though, when he’s at a low.”  
“Exactly, and he’s at an all time low at the moment with the break up and her calling him … I just wish she’d left it alone. I like her, she’s been part of the Backstreet family for a long time, and it’s been weird the way she’s just fallen off the face of the earth - that never happened with us, because we’ve got the boys, you were never going to be able to disappear, and believe me, I’m real glad about that, but Cate’s just gone and I guess that’s hard on him.”

Kristin smiled. “You’re a good friend, looking out for him.”  
Kevin raised his eyebrows sceptically. “Not sure about that.” He disagreed.  
“Want to stay and have dinner?” Kristin asked as the timer on her phone went off to indicate that the roast needed taking out of the oven.  
“Sure, I’d like that.” Kevin smiled up at her. He grabbed her hand as she stood up. “I’m so glad that we didn’t wreck us.” He told her honestly.

Kristin bent down and kissed him briefly. “Me too babe.” 

*** 

Nick glanced up at the clock in Kevin’s TV room. It was almost midnight and he’d been playing video games for the last few hours, whilst he’d waited for Kevin to come home.

It felt like a punch to the gut when he realised that perhaps Kevin wasn’t coming home. He threw the controller down onto the sofa and stood up, stretching. He walked into the hallway and picked up his car keys.

When he drove past Kristin’s house a few minutes later, he saw that the house was in complete darkness and Kevin’s car was still in the driveway.

When he climbed into Kevin’s bed a little while later, tears still threatening at the backs of his eyes, he hugged Kevin’s pillow to him, inhaling the scent of his aftershave and he tried to work out why he felt so miserable when Cate had called him, saying she wanted him back.

*** 

Kevin sat in Kristin’s driveway long after she’d taken the boys to school. He couldn’t believe that he’d ended up staying there last night and sleeping with her, especially knowing his feelings were so confused about Nick right now. He knew he should have told her about sleeping with Nick, but he also knew that she’d have not taken him to bed in the way that she had last night and there was a part of him that needed the comfort of something, somebody familiar.

Eventually, he turned the engine on and drove the few minutes home. Nick’s car was still in the driveway, but not in the same place it had been when he’d left the previous day.

“Nick?” He called as he walked through the house, not able to find him at all. He jogged up the stairs, taking them two at a time and poked his head around the guest room. There was no sign of him or an overnight bag.

He walked along the landing to his room, and his heart sank as he saw that the bed had very obviously been slept in. But there was no sign of Nick.

*** 

Nick stared into space as the chauffeur car took him from the airport to his house. He’d called Cate from the airport that morning to say that he’d meet her for a drink at the golf club near the house. His flight had landed at 10am and it had only taken half an hour to get to the golf course.

As his car pulled up, he sat forward, grabbed his bag and climbed out. Muttering a quiet thank you to the driver, he started towards the restaurant.

He was stood waiting to cross the road, when he saw Cate come out of the golf club with somebody he didn’t know but looked familiar and he realised it was the guy in the Instagram photo. The blood in his body suddenly felt as cold as ice as he saw her lean up, wrap her arms around the guy’s shoulders tightly and kiss him tenderly.

Tears sprang to his eyes immediately as he took a couple of steps back. He couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid to believe her.

When the guy walked away from the golf club, Cate glanced around and she froze as she spotted Nick on the other side of the street. 

“Nick!” She yelled, darting across the road, a look of panic on her face. 

Nick stepped further back, desperately looking around, but for what, he wasn’t sure. He couldn’t get his feet to move as she closed in on him.

“Nick…” She started.  
“I don’t even know how you think you can talk yourself out of this.” He said angrily. “Just get away from me.”  
“It isn’t what it looked like!” She began.  
“Really? Ok, then, I’m listening - explain to me that it’s not the guy you left me for or that was on your fucking Instagram this week!” He yelled at her, dropping his bag on the floor and folding his arms across his chest defensively.

Cate’s eyes darted down to the ground, as she stayed silent. “We were just saying goodbye.” She said quietly.  
“I really am fucking better off without you.” He snarled at her, never having hit a woman but feeling like he really could now. “You are worth no more of my time, or my tears or my heartbreak. I never want to see you again.” He screamed, knowing people were looking but beyond caring.

Snatching up his bag, he stalked away from Cate, back to the road as he angrily swept the tears away from his face.

He glanced around for a taxi, but he knew there wouldn’t be many in their neck of the woods so he set off for home on foot.

As he turned the alarm off 30 minutes later, he dropped his bag onto the floor and headed straight for the bar. Pouring himself a large vodka, he opened the doors to the patio and stepped outside, downing the vodka in one go.

He dropped onto the nearest chair and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Without thinking, he dialled Kevin’s number.

“Nick! Thank god, where the fuck are you?” Kevin said urgently when he answered Nick’s call on the first ring. “I’ve been worried sick.”  
“She wanted me back but I caught her ‘saying goodbye’ to the other guy.” Nick hiccupped tearily.  
“Oh dude. You in Vegas?” Kevin asked.  
Nick nodded before realising Kevin couldn’t see him. “Yeah. You stayed at Kristin’s last night.” He said, more of a comment than a question.

“Yeah.” Kevin replied, hastily repacking his bag.  
“I missed you.”  
“I thought you needed some space.” Kevin replied, slipping his feet into a pair of trainers. “I’ll be there in a few hours.” He told Nick. “I need to call a car.”

*** 

Kevin arrived in Vegas at 2.30pm, getting a car straight to Nick’s. He’d called Nick back after he’d called a car to take him to the airport but there had been no answer.

“Nick?” He called, pushing open the front door that was still slightly ajar.  
“Kev?” Nick replied as he walked through from the kitchen. He looked shattered. “What are you doing here?” He asked.  
“I told you I was coming.” Kevin said, closing the front door and pulling Nick into a tight hug. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”  
“I thought you meant you’d be here, like tomorrow. I didn’t realise you meant today. Wait, did you just get straight on a flight?” He asked, pulling back and walking back into the kitchen.

“Yeah...fuck, what happened in here?!” Kevin asked as he looked at the mess on every single surface.  
“I wanted to cook.” Nick said dumbly.  
“For how many?!” Kevin laughed.  
“There was stuff in the fridge that needed eating so I’m cooking and freezing stuff.” Nick explained, picking up a knife and bringing it down hard onto the chicken breast on a board.

“How much have you had to drink?” Kevin asked.  
“Only one, when I called you earlier. Nothing more. Don’t worry, you don’t need to babysit me again.” Nick smiled.

“Can we…” Kevin nodded out to the patio. “Can we talk?” He asked warily.  
“Sure. Want a drink?” Nick replied, washing his hands and heading over to the bar.  
“Just a beer is fine.” Kevin told him as Nick pulled two out of the fridge.

They sat at the table by the pool, side by side.

“So, you’re not getting back together with Cate then?” Kevin asked, taking a sip of his beer.  
“When I called you earlier, I thought I’d end up trashing the place, but the more I sat out here and thought about it, the more I realised that it wasn’t what I wanted.” Nick admitted.

Kevin nodded, taking another sip of his beer. “I slept with Kristin last night.” He sighed.  
Nick shut his eyes and swallowed. “I figured.” He replied.

“Why didn’t...I told you to take a risk.” Kevin said, turning to face Nick.

Nick glared at him. “I did take a risk! I came back to Vegas to at least talk it over with her and look how she fucking repaid me!” He snapped crossly.

Kevin shook his head and shut his eyes. “I didn’t mean on Cate.” He said quietly.  
“Well what the fuck did you mean then?” Nick asked.  
“I meant on me!” Kevin cried. “On us.” He clarified.

Nick just stared at Kevin and then looked out towards the pool. “I don’t understand…” He trailed off and Kevin sighed loudly, muttering to himself.

“OH!” Nick suddenly said and whipped his head round to look back at Kevin. “You never wanted me to come and see her?”

Kevin let out a nervous laugh. “No.”  
“I thought you were telling me to take the risk with her.” Nick said.  
Shaking his head, Kevin smiled a little. “No. I wanted you to take the risk on me, on what we’ve been doing.”  
“I didn’t know you … I mean, you slept with Kris last night.” Nick stammered.  
“Because I knew you’d misunderstood what I meant about taking a fucking risk and I was hurt and lonely and she knows me well enough to know when I’m hurting.” Kevin snapped.

Nick nodded. “Fuck, I wish you’d made it a bit clearer!”  
“I didn’t know how to without coming out and saying ‘pick me’ you fucking idiot!” Kevin laughed.  
“Alright, no need to be rude!” Nick grinned. “I’m sorry.” He said, leaning over his chair, sliding his hand into Kevin’s hair and bringing their heads together. “Think you can put up with my dumbness?” He asked with a smile.  
“I’ve been doing it for 25 years, I’m sure I’ll manage!” Kevin smiled, leaning forward to kiss Nick.

Nick sighed into the kiss as their tongues met lazily and without breaking the kiss, he moved from his chair to Kevin’s lap, sitting sideways, his arms wrapped around Kevin’s neck.

“Not sure the chair is going to keep our weight for long.” Kevin grinned, breaking the kiss.  
“Could find somewhere more comfortable I suppose.” Nick agreed. 

*** 

“I’m starving.” Nick announced, much later. He and Kevin had made out on the sofa in the living room for a pretty long time and his stomach rumbling had pushed them apart.  
“Well, there’s all that food in the kitchen.” Kevin reminded him from where he was lying underneath Nick.  
“Fuck! There was something in the oven!” Nick cried, falling off Kevin and racing into the kitchen.  
“Are you sure? Surely we’d have smelt it burning.” Kevin said, standing up, stretching and rearranging himself as he followed Nick.

Nick skidded to a halt by the oven and frowned. He yanked the door open and pulled out a completely raw dish. “What...oh.” He trailed off, looking at the back of the counter to see that he’d not turned the oven on at the wall. “Well, at least it’s not ruined! Although, it’s been out for a few hours, so not sure if it’s edible even if it’s cooked.” He frowned. “Takeout?”

Kevin nodded as he grabbed a rubbish bag from a drawer. “Is any of this salvageable?” He asked, nodding down at the raw chicken on the side.

“Not the meat. All the veg can go away.” Nick said, picking up a load and carrying it through to the pantry where the fridge was. “Thai, Chinese or pizza?” He asked, shoving things back in the fridge.  
“Chinese.” Kevin replied, dumping all the meat into a bag and tying it closed.

*** 

“How much food did you order?!” Kevin laughed as he saw Nick unpacking three large bags on the kitchen counter. 

Kevin had been in Nick’s room for a while - he’d offered to sort the room out if Nick sorted out dinner so he and Nick had wrestled a mattress off one of the spare beds and Kevin had dumped the slashed one in a spare room. He dumped a rubbish bag on the floor. “All done.” He commented, nodding down at the bag.

“Thanks.” Nick smiled. “And probably more than we need! I couldn’t remember what you liked, so I just ordered a load of stuff.”  
“You know what I like! Egg fried rice, kung po chicken, dumplings...ok, fair few things, probably good you got a lot!”

“Wanna watch a game?” Nick asked, grabbing a couple of tubs of food, some chopsticks and heading to the TV room.  
“Is there much on as it’s summer?” Kevin asked, sitting down on one of the recliner chairs.  
“Probably not - sure there’s something we can rewatch though.”

*** 

“Kev?” Nick asked later. He’d locked the house up, sorted out the kitchen and actually remembered to put the uneaten food into the fridge and all that was left to do was to get Kevin into bed.

Kevin looked up from his phone. “Huh? Sorry. I was just…” He said, trailing off as Nick walked over to him, wrapped his arms around Kevin’s neck and leant forward to kiss him. “Hi.” He breathed.

“Hi yourself.” Kevin grinned.

“You gonna stand here all night or are you going to come to bed?”

Kevin looked and felt nervous for the first time that evening. It wasn’t like sleeping with Nick was new but now he would be sleeping with Nick.

“Bed sounds good.” Kevin replied, aware his voice was a little shaky.   
Nick grinned again, kissing him once more before he took a step back. He took one of Kevin’s hands in his and slowly walked backwards, towards his room, not taking his eyes off Kevin, his eyes dark and hooded, and full of lust.

Kevin swallowed hard as they got to the bed, Nick’s knees buckling as he hit the bed frame. He put his hands on Kevin’s waist and pulled him between his legs.

“Nervous?” He asked.  
Kevin let out a small laugh. “Fuck, yeah! You?” He asked, his arms wound around the back of Nick’s neck.  
“Yes and no - I’ve known you forever, and you did let me get you off a few nights ago.” Nick reminded him with a smirk.  
“That was pretty awesome.” Kevin agreed.

Nick slid his hands inside Kevin’s t-shirt, smiling as Kevin let out a small sigh, his eyes closing momentarily. “Is it ok if I touch you?” He asked.

Kevin nodded, not trusting his voice as he felt Nick push him back a little. Nick stood up, running his hands up Kevin’s sides, both of them watching each other. As Nick’s hands reached Kevin’s chest, he took one hand out of Kevin’s t-shirt and put it behind his neck, pulling him in for a kiss as he ran his thumb over Kevin’s nipple, causing Kevin to gasp into their kiss. 

Kevin put his hands down on Nick’s waist, pulling him closer, wanting Nick to feel how much he was turning him on. Nick groaned, breaking the kiss and tipping his head back. 

“Fuck, you hard for me?” He breathed, rolling his hips forward gently.  
“Yeah.” Kevin breathed out.   
“Can I…” Nick nodded towards Kevin’s belt and Kevin’s stomach somersaulted.  
“Fuck yes.” Kevin laughed lightly.

Nick moved his hands down, undoing Kevin’s belt and undoing the button of his jeans. As he pushed his hand inside, he rested his forehead against Kevin’s, their lips almost touching as they breathed, but not quite.

Kevin let out a low moan as Nick’s hand brushed over the front of his boxers and he pushed his hips into Nick’s hand.

“Someone’s eager.” Nick teased quietly, biting down on Kevin’s ear lobe.  
“Someone’s a fucking tease!” Kevin panted as Nick wrapped his hand around Kevin’s dick. “Fuck…”  
“Your voice is like fucking silk when you’re turned on, you know that?” Nick asked softly, pumping Kevin a couple of times before he pulled his hand out of Kevin’s jeans.

Nick sat down on the bed again, pulling Kevin down with him so that Kevin was straddling him. “Hi.” He grinned.  
“Hi again.” Kevin replied, leaning down to kiss him.

Nick pushed his hands inside Kevin’s t-shirt again, pushing it up to his shoulders and then over his head, breaking their kiss so he get pull the t-shirt off. He sat himself up a little, doing the same with his t-shirt and he pulled Kevin back down to him. He parted his legs, his knees a little bent as Kevin rolled his hips forward, letting out a gasp as Nick reached up to kiss him again.

They kissed for a minute or so, before Nick had to pull back. “I really need to …” He started, sitting up a bit and undoing his own jeans. He pushed Kevin onto his back, shoving his own jeans down his legs and kicking them off. “Fuck, that’s better.” He moaned. He lay on his side, looking down at Kevin who was watching him. 

Nick didn’t break eye contact as he slid his hand down Kevin’s chest, changing the angle of his hand as he reached into Kevin’s jeans, into his boxers and wrapped his hand around Kevin’s cock.

“Fuck!” Kevin groaned, his hips jolting off the bed. He closed his eyes as Nick leant forward to kiss him. 

A few moments later, Nick pulled Kevin’s jeans and boxers down his legs, Kevin kicking them off as quickly as he could so he could get Nick’s hand back on him. He pulled at Nick’s shoulders, pulling him on top of him.

Kevin surged up to kiss Nick again as Nick ground his hips into Kevin’s and Kevin couldn’t help the groan that came from deep inside at the sensation.

Nick knelt up quickly, pushing his boxers down, gasping as he felt Kevin’s hand slide between their bodies.

“Fuck!” He gasped.  
“This ok?” Kevin asked nervously, his hand loosely wrapped around Nick and moving his hand slowly.  
“Uh huh.” Nick managed to agree, his brain in meltdown at the feeling of Kevin’s hand on him.  
“I don’t really know what I’m doing…”   
“Well, keep doing that because it’s fucking working for me.” Nick panted.  
Kevin laughed before he leant up to kiss Nick again.

Nick’s legs began to shake with the effort of kneeling over Kevin and he wrapped his hand around Kevin’s hand, helping Kevin to stroke him faster and he whimpered as he felt Kevin’s thumb push into the slit at the top and his body tensed as he fucked into their hands, crying out as he came, collapsing forward onto Kevin’s body.

“Fuck, fuck…” Nick gasped for breath as he moved to Kevin’s side, moving his hand that was covered in sticky fluid over Kevin’s cock and he watched as Kevin’s back arched off the bed. Kevin interlinked his fingers with Nick’s dirty ones, letting Nick keep pace, but just wanting to keep himself grounded.

“You look so hot, your hand over mine, covered in my come.” Nick murmured. “Can’t wait to see you come.” He whispered, sucking gently on Kevin’s neck and then it was game over for Kevin as he came hard, covering both their hands and his stomach.

He gasped for breath as Nick let go of him, sucking his fingers into his mouth, watching Kevin very deliberately as he did so.

“I knew you’d be dirty!” Kevin panted with a grin as he pulled Nick close to him.  
“I don’t know what you mean, I’m an angel!” Nick laughed, wrapping his arms around Kevin’s neck and sliding his leg between them, both of them still a mess.  
“Yeah, with fucking horns!” Kevin teased.

Nick grinned. “Shower with me?” He asked, smearing their stomachs together.  
“Gross Carter! Yeah, come on then.” Kevin smiled softly.

*** 

They crawled into bed a while later, having spent most of the shower ‘snogging like teenagers’ according to Kevin, but he hadn’t felt so turned on by someone for a very long time.

Nick pulled the duvet over them and turned off the bedside light. “Thank you for flying here.” He said, facing Kevin and wrapping his ankle between Kevin’s legs.  
“Wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.” Kevin told him.

*** 

For the next couple of weeks, both men kept their newfound relationship to themselves. Not because they were ashamed of it, but because they just wanted it to be their secret for as long as they could manage it - they knew that the others would be beyond supportive of them, and Kevin felt he owed it to Kristin to tell her face to face. Nobody thought it odd at all that Kevin was staying at Nick’s instead of a hotel when he was in Vegas.

As it was, it was purely an accident that Kevin let it slip in a band meeting one afternoon when they were discussing the various shows they had over the summer and somebody was talking about how many hotel rooms they needed per night, and Kevin was mentally counting everyone up and he couldn’t work out why there seemed to be one more than necessary and they’d been screwed over with money in the past and he was especially careful with it all now.

“Why do we need 16? We only need 15 rooms.” He asked, glancing over at one of their team, Daisy.

Daisy patiently went through the names of everyone who needed a room and when she said Nick’s name, Kevin interjected.

“But we’ll share, won’t we babe?” He said, glancing over at Nick and as he did so, Nick beamed at him as the penny dropped in Kevin’s mind.

“Since when do you two share?” AJ asked curiously as Howie smirked to himself, trying to hide his smile behind his hand.

Kevin looked around at AJ. “Erm…” He started, completely lost for words.

Nick leant forward and rested his chin over Kevin’s shoulder, sliding an arm around his waist. “He’s the reason I said no when Cate wanted to get back together.” He explained.

Brian’s eyes nearly popped out of his head and AJ’s jaw dropped in surprise, a smile then growing over his feature. 

“You two are shagging?!” He laughed. “Well, fuck me, I’d never have put the two of you together!” He grinned, nudging Kevin’s shoulder. “How the fuck have you not killed him yet?!” He wanted to know.

“Oh fuck off McLean!” Nick grinned, sticking his middle finger up at AJ and sitting back in his seat.  
“So, just 15 rooms?” Daisy smirked, making a note on her clipboard.

“You two are very quiet.” AJ peered at Brian and Howie. Brian just blinked and shook his head a few times.   
“I’m in shock, I think!” He chuckled. “I’m pleased for you both, you know that though, right?” He asked sincerely and Kevin grinned, briefly leaning over to hug his cousin.  
“D? Did you know something?” AJ asked suspiciously.

Howie smiled and shrugged. “I had my suspicions!” He grinned, extremely happy for his friends. “I told you everything happens for a reason.” He reminded Nick.

Nick grinned, hugging Kevin to his chest again. “Sure does.” He smiled, planting a sloppy kiss on Kevin’s cheek. Kevin just smirked smugly whilst the other three cat called them playfully.


End file.
